Days since last accident: 0

Blooper! The following takes place at the end of the book, during the priest of Light’s assault on Dedu Tedu Novus. Recorded by Luny, a Cobalin.

De fake sun gave de night light. A night light! Luny liked night lights. They made de scary dark go away. But instead of scary dark, there be lots of bad humans on bridges. They be loud like evil monsters, de sort that hid in closets en ate your pet rock collection.

Very evil monsters!

Except this time, she had a giant slingshot en a license to splat, heehee.

Behind de bad humans, boomy things boomed on woody ships. She twisted away from de spray of chipped rocks, her ears making sound like bells but not like bells. She no like it, not at all!

Luny huffed en jabbed her finger at Mork en Dork, her boy helpers. They be rolling a big-big rock up de ramp to her slingshot. “Be faster!” she yelled over all de noise.

“I . . . am . . . trying!” Dork said between grunts as he shoved his weight against de rock, feet sliding behind him in de dirt.

Mork, on de other side, pulled on a plant-fiber rope tied in lots of knots around him. He be covered in sweat, leaning back, de rope sawing on de edge of de ramp.

These rocks be too big! Leave it up to dumb-dumb boys to pick bad rocks. Smaller rocks be easier to move. Shoot more! But . . . big rocks did make de best crunchy sound when they slammed into her targets. Yes! She be de best rock launcher, heehee!

De sound of a snap yanked her attention back to her helpers. It be de rope! De rope be gone! Cut in half. . . .

Mork plopped to his back, feet in de air. En Dork squeaked as de rock tumbled back down de ramp, intent on using him as a Cobalin speed bump.

She blew air through lips.

Desley be right, of course. Boys be so dumb sometimes. Girls never-never made mistakes. They be perfect in all de ways, yes!

Luny jabbed her finger at Dork, who now happened to be under de rock, always taking breaks when work needed to be done. So very lazy! “This be no time for—”

Her words abruptly cut off, startled into silence from de swoosh of black material attached to de King . . . of . . . Shadows.

It be getting hot out here? Her face felt very very warm! All complaints about boys, none included him. He be majestic! En smart! En brave! En so so so very tall. Twice her tallness!

“Luuuneeey,” wheezed de voice of Dork.

She shushed him. Did he no see, de king be here!

She swallowed hard en searched for words to say. “Great Shadow?” she asked, now noticing that he be in her slingshot, which be very odd, but he be very smart, so what did she know? “You be boomy rock?”

“The boomiest,” he confirmed, his voice sounding so smooth en nice. It sent a shiver down her back bones, en made her toes tingle!

That be him, toe-tingling man of her dreams. She quickly fanned her face en let out a love sigh, leaning forward en bracing her weight against something that no mattered much.

Until it shifted.

De slingshot made a fwoomp! of a sound, that scared de living spiders out of her! She jumped. En like magic, de king be gone. . . .

She shielded her eyes against de night light to catch a glimpse of his spinning body, hurled toward de dark horizon.


Oddly, it reminded her of something like . . . Team Rocket? Blasting off again.

“Where be Great Shadow?” Mork asked, looking around, a messy assortment of ropes tied around him to de point he could move his arms no more.

Luney hid her grimace. Girls no make mistakes! De King of Shadows wanted to fly like cave bat, yes. But boys be too dumb to see that. “King be busy busy! He no here no more.”

True en true.

She jabbed her finger at Dork, who had turned himself purple. Boys. So strange. “Be faster!” she commanded en prepared to make humans go splat!